Too much has been happening. All about knowing the truth, crying, breaking down, facing the most raw side of myself of lying to myself. Why when I have set things right, things goes wrong again. My ideal break up turned out hurting to know that you betrayed me too fast. Everybody thinks that it is alright since you should move on sooner or later. Perhaps I knew it, but ur love seemed to have not left. But I have to push it away now. I have to see the ugly realitites you are with her now. She is innocent. Then what makes me? I cannot see how I need to face this world. I sometimes just needed to know that you still have me in your heart after all. But when all seems impossible, can I break free from this? can I?
I bump into your memories everywhere I go. I relive each moment on my own. I see the next step of your life. I fall for the lonliness because I can't get out anymore. I see with the very eyes that tear each day. The completeness of "heart-broken" is left lingering in my heart and doesn't want to go. Heart-frosted, yet standing in the midst of the desert. Your hand I can no more grasp coz the spaces once filled by me are now left here waiting to be chopped off, lost its touch. creasing up like a crumpled paper. reopened to see the endless pen marks that won't be erased forever. I can't cling on to you. I can only hang up the memories like a reel of film and keep replaying. 'dao dai' became the song Ilike. by jay for jolin tsai to sing.
I don't know what to ask for. the right is no longer mine. Like a queen stripped bare of her postion. hate and believe in you are intercrossed so many times in my head. just only wished for that little space in your heart. remembering me as your most significant.
I'm going to be alright. alright? is far. the clinging plant on the tree. grown too dependent. but now will have to live on alone. Live strong. Live to believe that things will work out for her again.
charon