Moon-days

2 lefts don't make a right.
Sonntag, Mai 28, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 12:38 AM | 0 comment

i guess the office boy is over. just heard news he actually like someone else. haha. alwaes like tt hur... i always try to hammer a nail and it hits only my dear thumb. can la. 'coz nothing happened. din even talk.

anyway that's not the main point... had fun k-box with my frens today at cck, thou i was late and really missed out the time on singing... not enough man!!! haha both me and sl's complain... then we went bukit batok waiting for them... shan and jack appear together?! not together... but only watched a movie together before. i highly suspect jack likes her... haha... so much of these hot gossips among temp staff. including mine which was false alarm i guess. anayway, had fun scolding all the guys one by one, who were late... and making them carrying all the stuff we bought and do all the bbq. haha. chris is now durian man to me... haha... looks so much like a beng la, pouch and gold chain... lolz. ya, and now i know i really peel prawns too slowly... took a lot of pics with the gals before i left.

had to go to the wedding dinner reluctantly. 'coz of my mum, and i din wan to be irresponsible anymore. anyway, yea. was quite okay la... i reached there at 9 and they just started actually... the food was pretty good... and i din know my cousin was really quite good looking after all hur... lolz. i liked the souveneir from the hotel... a bottle of honey with a tag:
life is a flower of which love is the honey-victor hugo

i remember again i want a christian husband = a christian bf
lovely.

life wheezes on...
Dienstag, Mai 23, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 12:05 AM | 0 comment

goodness... been working recently that i din even haf time to blog.

many things happened. most significant to church and guys.

i finally went for sat service! it was quite okay actually... just tt i felt awkward...
talked to callma on friday's cell. YES, i am a confused gurl. my life is pretty messed up.
YES, i am going to do something abt it. YES, i need time to think.
maybe something i can do it thank god. Yitinn even spoke to me ytd...

guys... one word: turntables.
as if i haven't got enuff from liking one guy after another... and finally learnt my lesson. i got pestered. and sorrie i ain't trying to show off at all. it's been bothering. it makes me even harder to understand why i can't be with the guy(s) i like. apparently i dun even know it's one or wad coz they keep changing their attitudes towards me.
i finally realised i've been dur dur dur...dumb! but never mind... like aviril's song:
u look like a fool to me...
din know u are also tt kind of guy tt just fall for another gurl here and there.
yup. the chapter truly ends here.

this one at work reminds me of u... but i guess he's nice. and i guess he's sincere. maybe we'll talk someday.

something traumatising happened to. sometimes i think if i forget the thot "guys are jerks", i'm being too lenient to alot out there... but i'm reminded not to be bias arh.... goodness naive me.

i do miss another thou. i am truly happie we are going to meet. and ur sincerity towards this frenship nowadays... seems like after asking "why u take me for granted?" really helps. i mean i din delibrately do tt... but yah. i expect a lot... but only 'coz i wanted to give a lot.

okies contentment, contentment. all fo sudden reminded of nic.
life is a balance of contentment and ambition.
true, true...

want to work, want to earn, want to discipline and live properly, want to see love in a most amazing way in this dying no-hope.

devil beside u
Mittwoch, Mai 17, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 5:37 AM | 0 comment

finally finished this show... great show, really great. lemme feel the happiness of being in love by watching others again.

just tt now when i watch finish, when i look at ur blog, i don't understand.
i don't understand why is ur life so peaceful, so undisturbed.
ur life has new passions... it's not something i don't understand.
it's only i, tat din believe, my existence then, in ur life...has now just disappeared.

did u know how difficult it is for me?
i very pissed. very. extremely. i finally thot of u.
but to u, i'm just a photo in ur memory that faded away.

next week, i'm finally going to meet someone i think he is very special.
i'm meeting him because... i want to tear the ideals of wad i perceive of him.
really hope i can do it this time.
but yet leh... i'm very excited. never went out before with someone i like so much. dun even know why got such an infacuation on him. can't wait to see the actual him...

zuo nv ren, zuo dao zhe me lan... zhen bu shuang.

dnd... i almost forgot
Montag, Mai 15, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 12:28 PM | 0 comment

terribly sorry i din even bother to mention this. ooops. well... after all the dress up and all, went there... haiz. i guess it was pretty much a disappointment. I expected a grand affair honestly... something glam, ppl really mixing around and having fun... but no. except for everyone dressing up really pretty and good looking.

The mc was good thou, the line-up of programmes was not bad la... and time really passes fast. just 5 hrs like tt gone.

ultimately, i do like my dress. hees. yea, it's something special i guess... thou i think it's under-dressed and all... at least i wasn't in black. yah... and nic's really a gentlemen, that nite at least. hees. yah, really glad i asked him along and not... no la. maybe it was him, it would haf been nice too... he would haf been really cute. yup. a pity din go club that nite... 'coz i felt bad having nic to accompany me so long in something so boring to him.

but anyway, it marks the end of this. and next comes graduation day! soon soon soon...

i guess no matter how, i must make sure i'll be happier. and oso with regards to my mum... love her more.

irritated. pissed.
Sonntag, Mai 14, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 5:01 PM | 0 comment

i've so much decided wad a disaster it is for guys to even appear near me. i'm not referring to my guy fren's of course...

anyway this blog is just to went my frustrations la.

i'll probably turn out to be like dear pam soon some day, if like she says, i really harden my heart! too bad i'm stuck with this guy in my head. he's gone. i'm still here. but wadeva la, he can live his life good, dun even rem the past, why i care leh. besides that, no one has ever been there when i needed someone most. but too bad... he's just mr nice guy. sorry i'm mentioning far too many times. really sorry abt tt. to myself, to ppl who haf been reading.

i just pissed i haf to let my life be ruined by such a way. but of course, i dun wan to becum some feminist. it's probably not rite... now tt i rem again, god created both women and men. and so BOTH are in his image. who the heck i am to say guys are no good.

but i'm much done at this point. learning to. i really dun need to continue in such cycles. dun need to.

been too free la, too much time to think... den all these nonsense sprout out like weed... meant to pluck off only.

get on man. but i know i wouldn't forget the two of them in this life. till now.

Quote me
Samstag, Mai 13, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 10:53 AM | 0 comment

recently too many thots flowing in. another one here... this one occurred when i was tagging on my fren's blog. and mr a, it's not attacking u hor!!! hees... just read it with a simple mind and heart k? here goes...

start to end. den dun be afraid.
know to fear. den ignorance in bliss is better.
love to discover, den dun try too hard.

for a love tt shouldn't have existed, make the best out of it. 'coz u never know...

i'd better learn my lesson. smack!

Labels: quote

cHaRoN posted at 10:05 AM | 0 comment

i'm f-ing in a bad mood now. i dunno, one thing is i went to read back on my ex's blog... which apparently is the dumbest thing on earth to do... so it will piss u no matter how calm u try to be. of course, i know he's definitely in bliss with that J gurl... (not that i'm jealous. i never felt the need to, amazingly... 'coz i got all his "first" after all, and she's not pretty! and of course learning to be/survive alone after all that i've gone thru... i know i'm definitely stronger than him and happier to start off with my prime years!)

just that, now i'm trapped (read previous), it really made me think again of wad i'm insisting now is rite. i guess i'll still take it rite. nic and pam's life alr told me so, u dun need a r/s to survive.

haha. oooops. another analogy came-- germination. plants i am referring to.
when the weak and young plants... u thot they need sunlight to survive... or they will just wither. but during germination, if u still rem ur sciences, they actually grow in the dark.
black out for this period, brought the best of their surviving skills. hees.

anyway, "J"- the never ending traumas of my life.
gurl's name with J... "tears" my life only.
guy leh... 'coz of him, my life was swirled like beaten eggs... mus be been pretty rotten eggs to start wif... lolz. goodness it's a different mix now.

of course i wouldn't say everyone i've met with names starting with J are bad. 'coz in fact i've met up with a nice fren, Jolene! hees. she's realli nice and cute... i like her! not tt i'm les... but she really is cute! and we clique well! haven't been having a new fren for long... gal one especially. tt's why i'm so excited ba.

anyway, after venting... bad mood -> good mood le... today DnD mah... how can dwell in something so not worth it leh!

like if i mentioned and only dearie pam rems... para//el lines never meet! so why bother?

trapped
Freitag, Mai 12, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 2:17 PM | 0 comment

" look at yourself, and what u haf become..."

wad u wan is wad u won't get. wad u get ultimately seems like not wad u wanted initially.

talking to nic as we shopped ytd. apparently, i start to understand him as a person. and i know things as such of "love" is not worth mentioning;

my analogy, sth like watching tv:
you get attracted to the programme, stay there for a few hrs, finish le, walk away and asked urself wad u were doing just now or would have been better doing.

i am honestly just irritated with myself now. because i caused myself to land in such a state again. i need to get off this itch la. but then...

rain le. for each time. someone's crying. dun wan to cry again.

quote me
Donnerstag, Mai 11, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 2:24 AM | 0 comment

wahaha... so long never did this le... guess i love this the most... esp now hor, all the crazy nicks i'm trying to think of... so will always accidentally pop out some dumb idea...

anyway,

" re-pair, is often im-paired."

" the only thing on earth that is both the longest and shortest, and can tell u everything.
--- time."
(heard tt from radio, and a lil' edition of my own. =p)

and this thing abt love: some love theory as usual. not going to go into the conversation abt it... just wan to pen down the learning parts in short.

love = starting point + change + accept

starting point: mus be right! (either the person, or timing)
change: if u love, u try to change instead of expecting ur partner to change.
accpet: wad u cannot change, u learn to accept

then also some other thing to do with the 2nd quote of time...basically timing is impt in a relationship/frenship/wadeva...

some ppl, miss timing le. no 2nd time. which can be summarised in the next quote:

"you and i are history. history never repeats itself."

and well... any kind of relationship have this thing called "timeline" to me...
the start, the pace, the end, matters.

my timeline with him stopped at somewhere. i am still reminded. but i know certain things. den i turn back to present again.

"if u look back, u will know i've been standing at that point. behind u."

this point= end of that timeline. but this point, is no point.

Labels: quote

updates
Montag, Mai 08, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 1:29 AM | 0 comment

wow... now tt i blog freq...a few days never write hand itchy le... but good la... collecting my thots also.

haha... recently, many things happen oh... just gotta type the impt stuff la.

1. finally watch finish "dolphin loves cat".
(haiz. not a good show to me leh... the ppl entangled in diff r/s... like A supposed to be with B, but throughout entire show, like end up A with C becum closer...till the end, A still go with B!!! wah lao, absolutely waste time watching mah!!!)

2. done with my online store: AthFlique (www.athflique.blogspot.com)
(hope that doesn't remind u of A and F... wah really something tt i took alot of effort with. now is i duno how to publicise... haiz... so if u read hor... do me a favour and go check it out! hees...like it den recommend to frens... and of course if u all haf stuff tt wan to sell... or exchange; even better, den lemme know!!!)

3. got a job! but kanna sacked
(long story la huh... miscommunication prob... but anyway at least it strongly motivated me to find another one now! need to earn lots of money in a short time... coz of uni.)

4. alot of ppl appeared in my life
(this one how should i explain leh... they just "pop"! good and bad la. only time can tell...)

conclusion mah: knowing objectives in life really gives a clearer view... but i better stop denying that i need God after all... 'coz problems can only be solved by God, esp things tt i thot i can control, will always end up with something i fail. =)

older <----->young
Freitag, Mai 05, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 4:15 AM | 0 comment

hmmm, life has been... changes.

talking to johnston again. everytime i talk to him, there's always a diff feeling. now it's neutrally simple. good. keep it tt way.

got a job, then every job i applied start finding me...madness. haf to decide wad to take up.

finally got down to buying my dinner and dance stuff today... din feel like going alr at first... but at least after getting the stuff now and imagining the way i gonna look tt day, a bit more excited.

i think now some concepts in me have changed. main priority: earn money.
wad can i afford now? take good care of my frens and learn to love my mum = obeying her = earn money
no more big R word on my head. sorry if i look like i am denying or wadeva. or maybe i just not interested anymore.

but still. the numbers been jumping on my blog... i wonder did u visit?

officially starting my online store soon. really excited and hoping to make things work there...

my happie dose
Montag, Mai 01, 2006

cHaRoN posted at 1:48 PM | 0 comment

i think decisions are impt. and esp going by it and determined to keep it. at this point, there isn't a your fault or mine. there's just something called a current that drifts us apart and we chose to be swept away by current.

as i look back, i know i have my faults. i shouldn't have held on too tight. shouldn't have thot too much. glad u are happie now. maybe need to learn wad is called simple satisfaction.

this promise to nic. i will rem to keep de...

anyway, happie dose. =) went out with cy! hahaha.... so long never had time alone le. really had fun in shi nai cha chan ting, watching the stupid " bloody beach" korean thriller. and my fake nails dropping here and there... really becum an idiot with those nails leh, can't grab properly, can't untie knots, can't wear pants blah blah blah...

then after tt at shi nai cha, we left at near 4... funny lor. no place to go. stay at bus-stop, listen song, do stupid stuff... sing... watch ppl. aiya lame de lar...

but the conversation we had is precious de. so long. never had such an interesting conversation. =) how we're linked by blogs and how we're linked by talking... is never the same.

my happie dose! more pls...