Moon-days

updates
Freitag, August 19, 2005

cHaRoN posted at 10:30 PM | 0 comment

haha...haven't been writing. 'coz i've been living with really simple happiness.. went k-box with shiling that day and really sung our hearts out man.... yesh. What I feel. But thank God and really so glad to know his plans for me. While reading the book, "passion and purity", and still reading, I really see the important lessons and moulding that god really wants out of me through this painful struggle.

Shiling, if u read this entry, really glad u're always around. Made me realise how close friends can ever be and love each other in the sense of being able to sacrifice so much. Really enjoyed the special moments we spent together.
And for my support group, pw, raph, angie: oh gosh, life is exciting to be able to share experiences with you guys. Growing with my "sisters".... Made me see life more than just the relationship. But I still desire.... just that now I will insist I will wait upon the Lord.

haha...actually a lot of ppl say I grow to be more mature in thought. And as I look back....I really see myself change. Prehaps life is really like that. About experiencing things that will make u grow in character and thought. Just that it probably took longer for me to realise...

Still not too late...Hehe~

eh hey...
Donnerstag, August 11, 2005

cHaRoN posted at 4:19 PM | 0 comment

hahaha... should be better today. Everyday's emotion is jumping like mad. But ha. Learnt how to cry smiling, makes me feel better. And talking to jm really helped. But not to mention all those others who really care about me. I will carry the courage you guys gave me, though now is still hard lar.

What do I really want to forget? (inspired by jm) I thot through this. I will keep the memories. But I will reconfirm with myself that we won't be together anymore. But as good as that we will still be friends. And I think I'll treat you better as a friend, probably like the way you're treating me now.

So life's a new chapter now. A part of me will still be at a standstill. Don't really want to change anyway. A part of me will respond to other challenges in life now. aha. aha. aha. loves laughing more now. aha.aha.aha.

dedicated to you
Dienstag, August 09, 2005

cHaRoN posted at 5:40 AM | 0 comment

Too much has been happening. All about knowing the truth, crying, breaking down, facing the most raw side of myself of lying to myself. Why when I have set things right, things goes wrong again. My ideal break up turned out hurting to know that you betrayed me too fast. Everybody thinks that it is alright since you should move on sooner or later. Perhaps I knew it, but ur love seemed to have not left. But I have to push it away now. I have to see the ugly realitites you are with her now. She is innocent. Then what makes me? I cannot see how I need to face this world. I sometimes just needed to know that you still have me in your heart after all. But when all seems impossible, can I break free from this? can I?

I bump into your memories everywhere I go. I relive each moment on my own. I see the next step of your life. I fall for the lonliness because I can't get out anymore. I see with the very eyes that tear each day. The completeness of "heart-broken" is left lingering in my heart and doesn't want to go. Heart-frosted, yet standing in the midst of the desert. Your hand I can no more grasp coz the spaces once filled by me are now left here waiting to be chopped off, lost its touch. creasing up like a crumpled paper. reopened to see the endless pen marks that won't be erased forever. I can't cling on to you. I can only hang up the memories like a reel of film and keep replaying. 'dao dai' became the song Ilike. by jay for jolin tsai to sing.

I don't know what to ask for. the right is no longer mine. Like a queen stripped bare of her postion. hate and believe in you are intercrossed so many times in my head. just only wished for that little space in your heart. remembering me as your most significant.

I'm going to be alright. alright? is far. the clinging plant on the tree. grown too dependent. but now will have to live on alone. Live strong. Live to believe that things will work out for her again.