hmmm...
Freitag, Juli 28, 2006
cHaRoN posted at 12:56 PM
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ytd talked to someone till late. actually looks good when he smiles... thou it's funny. come to know he likes the gurl who took his heart away to aussie. haha. she's coming back in 3 months. and i thot he's probably going to tell her, date and get married. lolz. dunno why.
happy for him. maybe it's at this point tt i know i din really like him. wow.... maybe libras really end up not suited for me. too practical. hahaha. but he's nice. and we can really be good frens 'coz we got pretty similar interests, a lil' here and there.
funny come to think of it. 'coz the last time i first remembered abt these silly crushes... i'll be really upset, either i feel very hurt...or i'll just cry. but maybe is 'coz gotten used to the fact of "it's impossible" and one thing they like to say " i like smaller/short gurls"...
Oh well. i thot... i can't shrink myself. and it's not my fault i like short guys rite? tell me abt it man... stero-typing...
I'll marry a guy ard my height. no doubts abt tt. hees.
laugh all u wan.
unhappy and unwanted
Donnerstag, Juli 27, 2006
started off pretty fine in the day. had done my medical checkup and got the ntu email password done... then at jp shopped with shan for stuff... got nail enamel and removal at sasa... nice colours for a really affordable price. My toes are shocking p!nk now...
accompanied her to zouk. wrong.
terrible over there. i had no mood at all. din even know why i was there. i dun even haf someone who can protect me... all i can feel was fear, not fun. the music at mambo was weird. and alot of socialising went on, when i went blank.
blank.
i wished someone could just come pick me up when i was almost broke and had no money to go home le... but no one can.
in the end, came home on my own, taking money from the "forbidden" account.
not going there again.
charon's still feeling terrible.
sick.
Mittwoch, Juli 26, 2006
dunno where to start from.
sick of many things...
work. last day, still almost had to feel like i'm dying trying to get the day over.
mum. wanted to have a nice outing yet she has to be late again to kick up a quarrel.
friends. tell me that we can treat each other with love enough.
guys, boys. utterly disappointed. cheating without feeling the guilt of the love u cheated. feeling like there's nothing wrong... tell me about it. tell me why a gurl is not human.
it's not me u know. it din even happen to me, but i can feel tt kind of impact.
when i stop complaining, is the day i give up hope.
i'm really affected by how ugly the minds of people are....
yet miracles in the kind-natured is the reason i can hold on to.
mix-breed.
just another day
Sonntag, Juli 16, 2006
cHaRoN posted at 12:26 AM
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oh well... pretty lazy day today... apparently had got up late 'coz was talking to shan till like 5am? and then was even lazy to get out...crap man. had a pretty great time at settlers' when we finally found the place... playing tt animal game....lolz. well, the colleagues never change.... so do i, i guess. gonna be quiting soon. sth good i guess...need time to rest and prepare for uni also...
wanna talk abt the camp i went just this week! was pretty ok... well my group consisted of this whole bunch of gurls plus one guy who pretended he was freshman when he wasn't lor... i had quite a lot of fun with them...thou i realised tt they were actually younger than me... hees. well, really different arh. hmmm. they are like nice...really nice. like as thou no bad experiences took away the simple gestures of kindness they give... and they are loved. :( most have bf lar... "__"
oh well. lucky. but i do enjoy their company, friendly, cheerful, simple, honest, and also fun. cya soon!
gotta say i'm missing someone.
final convictions
Sonntag, Juli 09, 2006
tt day... i dun even wan to rem which. the day u told me....
1. u're a bother to me.2. i dun love u anymore3. can't u forget me?4. will we see each other again? NO.i am angry. i believed in tt bit of u still liking me. it was bullshit.
i thot... tt feeling is more than tt. NO. it was JUST a feeling, tt faded with time.
while stupid dumb idiot me... treated this liking so seriously... enough to last a lifetime of memories stuck in the head.
i'm finally done with him.
but now when i rem the places we been and did, watch the shows tt remind me of those dumb promises u gave, ur love... seems to have never left.
sorry. i have been too persistent. sorry.
sorry tt i can never forget u, thou i can leave u alone.
sorry tt i chose to
love u.
ytd watched world cup... lovely man... germany really scored 3 goals!!! thou i do agree with dan and pam maybe the referee might have been bias... oh well, at least the 2 goals weren't from some dummy free kicks.
many things we were talking abt can make us happy. learn... learn.
'coz all of sudden, my happiness isn't coming so easy anymore.
On the 1st of July...
Sonntag, Juli 02, 2006
30th june, a friday at work... me and shan, slack like mad. went to toilet, chatted a while.
thing is, saw 3 red cars parking very near each other at the carpark....
there and then. i determined we'll be lucky today...accordin to wad my mama said to me when we were young.
i din know wad izzi. was it the ger-arg match? or the nice ppl which i mentioned earlier that sent me home? the match last nite tt the portugals win, fighting so hard... or the harsh reality tt france has defeated brazil again. 3 teams, all the side i supported won. thou not really happy france entered instead of brazil.
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maybe, it's coz i knew. i don't know to believe the first time i heard it, the second just told me to believe the first. and dun ask him why.
really? not coz i dun trust... 'coz i dun wan to throw myself back into a pit. 'coz u were so sure abt ur decision. so many times.
'coz i simply dun believe the existence of 'tong hua'.
'coz someone who loves u wouldn't wan to leave u, together with those wadeva beautiful promises.
yet when i think back. i can see some loopholes, some connections.
u really think by doing this, i will be happy, "de dao shuo wei de xin fu ma"?
don't dare to believe. don't dare to think tt i can be happy like this.
this song, something i wan to do. is simply b'coz... i know tt's wad u want.
believe i liked u till it's starting to see wad is love. believe that after u, all will be different. believe tt wad u can do for me, i can do for u too.
kor says fate will bring us together one day if it allows.
i dunno wad to say.
just this quote from me....
"love doesn't come out from expectations, but from expectations comes love."
Labels: quote
another dream
Samstag, Juli 01, 2006
is it even going to keep going on like tt? please...
i woke up from ytd's exciting match of all time between germany and argentina. the match i tot determines my crazy fate with him. so exciting. coz both teams were strong. was at this pub called BEDS. sleazy la. dun like. if not for watching match, why would u even catch me there?
anyway i wan ger to win. they weren't too polite la. starting wan to fight le. but i guess it's pressure on both sides. but ya, even in times of difficulties... i wan to believe a miracle can happen. like between me and him. so hard to take it when arg got in the first goal. but i had to believe, ger will win. like as thou, if they won... i believe me and him will have something between us again.
seriously. love makes u dumb. =P
i can't go on anymore. i was pissed coz i saw his frenster.
oh. another mei. so many gurls around tt he doesn't need me. tt he thinks i'm irritating, but doesn't wan to say it out.
i had a good time anyway. two very nice guys, terrance and terrance... so cute! they are both called the same name i dunno how to address them... yah they bought me supper to fill my empty stomach for the dinner i din eat coz of crazy ot... and sent me home. =)
yea anyway. main thing. i dreamt of him again. today is 2nd day dreaming of him le.
will it go on like tt?
it was at the second house... just like in the first dream. he and my dad was in this room. sleeping on the mattresses... funny arh. i think one of us had the mattress placed below the bed...sleeping under the suffocated area and probably breathing in the dust...
weird.
then my mum woke up to cook! crazy.... sings: (i think u're crazy x2) thou i din see where she was sleeping. think she was cooking some tung-hoon or mee fen...lolz. then she was holding this wok cover.... den suddenly scolding me like mad lor. dunno she was throwing away the suff or placing the cooked food in the plate...but keep scolding.
-end of dream-
charon