i just finished watching black jack. great.
saw the new house in progress, guess i'm looking forward despite the problems.
most of all,
i miss fat de. touched by his little actions. love my boy.i've been blogging and online less. u would presume because i'm attached and all. but it ain't exactly so. i've been both studying and dating. and it seriously blows my time away. often i really i wished i had more time. but like today when i had. i'll end up spending time reminiscing abt the past. of all things.
it's been a year. i still can't get over it. blame it on me. i still see him. i still keep associated memories. i still hate his girl. i dunno she's dumb or wad. but i can tell u, i seriously do. i never wished he'll come back. at least now i don't. but... sometimes as i think, i really dunno what's stopping me from forgetting him. it used to be love, then hate, now pain.
when i was young, i vividly rem when i got cut by a knife. the same knife cut my bro some time later. but we had the same reaction, we never cried, we just asked for plaster, and it was never in a hurry.
i wonder if my young days have gotten into me, pain is so hard to forget, yet my reaction for it is not immed, not responsive enough at first. haha but that's a little untrue also. i overeacted at first. i still blame him for my oily eyelids that recurrs.
actually my point being, it's just... when u see a scar, u will be reminded. i guess my heart has one also. but sometimes i really wished i could let it go, i could forget the pain and all.
day's like this. transversing between past n present. are so hard to get over.
and between frens... actually. another thing i've been figuring. have i became too hard and harsh. maybe someone was right. all this time, i've become too hard on revenge. i just met too many difficult ppl this sem.
maybe i'll spend this holidays for some good letting go and letting off steam. :)
charon