have been having a lot of fun these 2 days really. in fact felt like a little pampered princcess. before i go on i should make a little mention of wad happened the past week, aka the first week of my holidays.

1. i almost spent finish my allowance.
2. i went cycling at east coast.
3. i went clubbing. with a nice bastard. oh well.

yah so i was saying... after the first time went supper with my wholivesnearyou fren... we met up again last weekend... actually he alr became my full-time fren in the nites when i was very bored... either sms or talk, when i din have internet access. yah... and i mus say he was very nice 'coz i was supposed to give him a treat...but ended up i only treat him dessert when he treat me for both lunch and dinner.

so the entire saturday we went out... from like 12 to almost 12. wah tt's almost 12 hrs! and everytime we go out sure got some irritating situation or pest. like the first time we went out was the cat trying to catch some rat and eat it. then on sat was the stupid crow just flying to somewhere near our seat at marina.

then i realised we are both pretty indecisive. actually i am la... but still should let him do some deciding also wad. besides i thot guys should have a mind of their own? lolz. yah... and he sent me home again. in fact on sunday it was the same again. he treated me sushi coz he wanted to eat, then had ice cream before he sent me home. which he will always ask, " do u need me to send u home?" then i will, " do u want to send me home?" haha so end up he will send me home... sometimes i feel bad really. and i dun wan to get used to it. coz i know den i will start to expect... sigh. it's really sad. why do i always end up like tt.

when i watched the channel u show ytd. the guy said abt... it's only when he danced alone was when he realised how much he was in love with his dead wife, 'coz she was the one he couldn't live without. and another girl saying, " it's not being with who's there at that times, it about being with the right one." but it's just so hard.

i wished to be loved. yet i think it's so hard not to fall for the inbetween trap. loved and not yet commit. and perhaps guys do always think it's not necessary to commit. or is it me? these days the 2 guys i see. oh well. alot's in my head. but i think it's better not to leak out yet. i hope i will see wad i want to see.

as clear as ever.