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i wish...
A time for everything. Letting Go. ♥
today is an enjoyable day
Dienstag, September 27, 2005
cHaRoN posted at 11:26 PM | 0comment

Today is an enjoyable day. Went to eat pastamania with shi ling. Then we went to Yew Tee to Mr Luda's hse. I kinda liked his house. Though it was small, it had everything. The kitchen and living room is quite zen-like (Black and White), and his bedroom was blue is theme. But I guess it beats nothing compared to the loving couple I see. His wife took half day leave just to help out with him lor. =) After we took a look around his house, he taught us to play this game that is popular in germany--Sielder's game. But we had no time to play. =( Another time perhaps.
We had bbq after that and Mr Goh and Mr Roberts joined us. It was a small grp but it was fun. I felt like a class for the once in many times of such gatherings...or is it I forgot the feelings? Hahaha... After that we had a few card games of big 2 followed by bridge before we went to play basketball. Tiring but fun.

Somehow I just felt that this year in my life. My 19th year had made quite an impact on me. I learnt a lot of things, and my perceptive on a lot of things have changed. I felt that I have grown. May not be something I like, or people like (which i used to care alot about, now still have of course). But at least I discover part of what is really me. Haha...May the Lord be with me always and teach me more each day.

Lil' faith, big adjustments, huge heart of obedience...
Cheesy dreamy
Donnerstag, September 15, 2005
cHaRoN posted at 2:02 PM | 0comment

I dreamt of being on the bottom part of the mountain eating cheese... btw i do love cheese... then there was rolls of cheese (those moon-like chunks) rolling down the hill. Someone was driving a truck down the hill and told me: " Hey, the people often drop their cheese so you can get them here for free. Fortunate for you!" Happily was I eating my cheese away.
-End of dream-

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cHaRoN posted at 12:06 PM | 0comment

I got pricked in the eye. Saw a secondary school couple kissing on the escalator. I didn't think I was jealous. I was worried. I don't know if she would end up like me. I cannot see the goodness of any relationship.

And I remembered, I used to think (my friends too) that in a relationship how could a girl be the one that loses more? Whether is losing the virginity or not... the girl also won't be the ONLY ONE losing out. Haha…that was fooooooolish. Going to a relationship is like going to a gambling den: The girl has some chips as stake and the guy has some too to bet for a game (which supposedly is the relationship) But what I hadn't realized: Initially, the girl has already lesser chips to stake on the game. And she will always give it all. As for the guy, he will always win the game. Why? He can give the same amount as the girl -- "give it all", but he will still have some chips left for another game. Or even more unfortunately, he can give lesser than that. Then the girl loses completely, totally.

Innocence is often too believable and yet too devilish for you to fathom.

Lessons lived makes one become like bitter chocolate. Appealing in the outside but doesn't taste that good at all. Sorry to all dark chocolate lovers here!

Thought of some love equations:
Love is a partially irreversible equation
Love « Hate (leads to and also vice versa...the sign can't come out =( )
(of course comes with side products like jealousy...)
More often than not, once love leads to hate it can’t be reversed. Of course there are times when miracles happen, people work out things. But then...yup. So what about some un-reacted love? Used for the next batch or cycle in hope of reacting to form better things such as happiness and well...I don't really know already. Things that seemed to be obvious to me aren't so obvious anymore. I need to ask God.

"But one life lived is not as exciting as having two lives lived together."
quote
Donnerstag, September 08, 2005
cHaRoN posted at 4:31 PM | 0comment

The world is a book; he who never stirs away from home is just like reading a page.

Sweet. Saw this quote at pacific cafe airport t2 and found it super suited to passengers leaving...

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cHaRoN posted at 3:55 PM | 0comment

Prince riding on the white horse for me. Aha. Then how come my dream was a dark ninja coming for me?

Was standing in an enclosed area, in front of something like a game booth. The man at the booth had told me to wear this black suit if I need to play the game. So I went to put on. Then I was given a sword--ninja type. Afraid, but then was urged to go into the maze, one with large main corridor in the corners and many doors leading to duno? Was at one corner, then saw him lar... wanted to walk to him but ahead was another guy (take as A). Then all of a sudden (why "a" sudden arh? why not "some" sudden? haha...ok exciting part can't talk rubbish), he slashed he sword and A fell to the ground. Not gruesome death lar... coz no blood.

Woah... So shuai lar...the part when he swift his sword across... Wanted to go and follow him, but then seems that time was up then have to go back the booth or either he disappeared too fast. When go to the booth, I was told to change into another suit and another girl had entered at the same time. Then I had realised the suit was white this time. I asked the booth guy but he said it didn't matter. The girl had also changed into a white suit. Then I went in but couldn't find him again.

Woke up. Aiya why dream always end at the nicest part....=(

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cHaRoN posted at 3:32 PM | 0comment

Dun anyhow think. Life become so extremely terrible now that these few weeks are just slogging myself out to study. Probably there has never been a time in my life where i worked so hard for something before. Not even when I was trying to get into special stream, not even when I was trying to retake my english to prove my language abilities.

But then hor... I was anticipating attachment, holidays. So things like tt should come first. Haiz. Duno lar. Feel so lost. Don't even know the results will become like what. At first thought I surely can make it this semester. Aiya. Too proud again. Pride always comes before a fall---that famous quote.

But still want to work hard, still want to push lar. Don't push now then no chance to push liao. Future is such a vague thing to me. But the more I uncover the picture, the more afraid I am; afraid I will not get what I expect.

Crap. Then somemore Qiying is gone. Fujuan staying at hostel. Since when did such distance gaps become such barriers to friendships?

Lah lah lah. Hope I can get the attachment in a-bio. If cannot then like that lor.
I need to find You again. Only when I meet your heart will I see the clearest of what I ought to see....

Will I?

My reluctance sometimes just drives me nuts.
That gurl

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